kimmyoung style.

"Your lap makes a good pillow, you know."

I laugh. "Well thanks, Ill take that as a compliment."

"It is."

------

"Hey! I missed you at lunch. What happened?" I ask.

"Listen, we need to talk."

"Uhm..okay."

He takes me by the hand and leads me over to an isolated table.

"Okay, so whatsup?" I question.

"Do you realy think our relationship is working?"

"... what?"

"I mean, we never see each other. I only have 1st lunch twice ever two week. We only talk through texting and AIM. And your always busy so we never get a chance to hang out."

"I thought you liked texting better than talking on the phone."

"I do. Its just that, we never get the chance to really talk, you know?"

"I don't really understand..."

"I don't think this relationship is going to work, Alyson. Do you?"

I don't respond. I fidget with my backpack straps and stare at the ground.

"Look at me Aly."

I slowly tilt my head up. I already feel the tears welling up, but I can't show them in front of him. I won't.

"Yeah. I don't think so either."

"Okay. Think we can still be friends?"

'Friends my ass.'
I plaster a fake smile on my face.
"Yeah sure, of course."

"Good. Im glad."

"Listen, I have to go. Audreys waiting for me."

"Alright. Bye."

I give him an awkward wave before I turn and dash out the front gate. The stashed tears start streaming down my face like bullets.
Audrey sees me. The first thing she does is wrap me in a big hug. 'Yeah, that's my best friend' I think.

"Did he do what I think he did?"

"Oh yeah," sob, "he did." its all I manage to choke out between sobs.

I take my phone out of my pocket and press speed dial 2.

Ring, ring.

"Hello? Aly? Do you want me to pick you up now?"

Hoping she won't recognize my sad voice I say,
"No mom, we're only halfway done. Im going to need another 10 minutes."

"Alright babygirl, take your time."

"Thanks mom. Love you. Bye."

Click.

While I have my phone out, I open my text message inbox. It reminds me that my inbox is 88% full. 157 texts from him.
'Hi girlfie, how's your day? :)'

'I need one of your hugs right now.'

'I miss you.'

'I love you.'

I press the menu button and go down to the 'Delete All' button. I hesitate, my fingers shakily hovering over the OK button.

"You don't have to do it so quick Aly." Audrey tells me.

"No, I need to. Its going to hurt more later if I don't."

I press down on it quickly, firmly. It takes a moment since there are so many.

'All messages deleted.'

------

For a month and a half, I thought I was in something close to love. What was the love that I thought I was in? An endless line of text messages, myspace comments, and hugs. Ridiculous isn't it? And it all ended because he started liking one of my best friends. REALLY ridiculous now huh? It hurt a hella freaking lot at first to see them hugging or holding hands at school. And gosh, at first, I tried to hate his guts. But I couldn't. Then just a month later, he fucked up his relationship with my old best friend. Well, that's probably when I really started hating him. Now? He's a player that everyone hates that fucks with girls lives.
But now, when I look back at it, more than 6 monthes later, I realize that I was really, truly happy for that month and a half span when I was with him. I truly liked him at the time, and im glad that I got to be with him before he became all weird. So I guess I can't really say I regret being his girlfriend. And I really have to thank my friends and my sister for helping me through it. 'He's not worth it, he's not worth it. He doesn't deserve you. You can do 10000 times better.' My sister would say. And at the time, I couldn't get myself to believe those things.
As for me, im doing just fine now. I got a little crush on a guy at summer school, and my home and social life are guh-reat. I see him in the halls sometimes, but it doesn't hurt anymore. We may lock eyes once in a while, and yeah, I have an urge to mouth 'fuck you', but seriously? He's not worth it, and I can do 10000 times better.